I have two sons. While I realize I will never know the joys of having a daughter, the same can be said for the many things in life we may never experience—like not having children at all, choosing a job that is death-defying (which brings me back to parenting), or moving overseas. Simply put, we don’t miss what we don’t know. I love my choices, adore my two boys, and wish for nothing more.

Still… as I watch my girlfriend answer her phone from her adult daughter even though she just called an hour ago, I understand that their bond is different from what I share with my sons. Not better or worse, just different. The saying goes, A son is a son until he takes a wife, a daughter is a daughter all of her life. A bit trite perhaps (and sexist, but let’s save that for another time), but this sappy sentiment sums up the difference between mothers and their relationships with sons and daughters.

So, dear future daughter-in-law, here are a few things you’re going to want to know before joining hands in matrimony with either of my sons…

  • It’s not you, it’s him – I may be the mother of your beloved, but I’m also a woman who was in the same place you are now. And I have the luxury of having learned the many quirks, idiosyncrasies, and faulty wiring in the male species. In the event of any fight you may have with my son (and you will have them), I’m likely to ask him what he did wrong, and suggest he apologize. I don’t even need your side of the story.
  • He’s going to grow up – One British medical report states that, on average, the male brain doesn’t reach full capacity until age 43, while the female brain flourishes 11 years earlier. The truth is, that young man you’re in love with, is only going to get better with age. But then, you can say that about all of us.
  • I’m going to be the be best damn mother-in-law – I know this because I also began married-life as the new daughter-in-law. It can be an uncomfortable fit when the mother of your soon-to-be is convinced that no one is good enough for her son. You’re not only good enough, I think my sons will have to work at it to rise to your standards. Love my boys? Check. Knowing my sons aren’t perfect? Double-check.
  • I’m going to love you no matter what – If my boys decide to marry, they will not be the only ones who will fall in love. If they see something in you, so will I, because my sons have good taste.
  • It’s OK if life takes a different turn – Whatever the future holds, you need to do what’s best for you, and I will understand. Even if you don’t remain a part of my son’s life, you will always have a place in my heart.

So, dear future daughter-in-law, hear this. While the two of you may make the perfect couple, you are just as complete as one.

Heidi McCrary is a writer and a regular contributor to Moxie Magazine. Her novel, Chasing North Star is available at Kazoo Books, This is a Bookstore, and online wherever books are sold. Follow Heidi at heidimccrary.netand facebook.com/HeidiMcCraryAuthor

Movie Review – PROMISING YOUNG WOMAN

Described as a “Thrilling and wildly entertaining story about a delicious new take on revenge,” this Oscar nominated movie takes viewers on an exhilarating emotional rollercoaster as Carey Mulligan grabs hold of the role of anti-hero, Casandra, and chokes it to delightfully new heights.

While billed as a thriller, please note that this goes far beyond the mindless storyline of FRIDAY THE 13TH wannabe slasher movies. Rather, PROMISING YOUNG WOMAN delivers on all cylinders – creating a story that encompasses the heart and compassion found in another movie billed as a thriller… THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS, which won several Academy Awards, including  BEST PICTURE, BEST ACTRESS, and BEST DIRECTOR. And like THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS, this film peels back several layers, revealing the horrifying ramifications that can result from the victimization of women that is still gaining traction from the ME TOO movement.

Halfway through this movie, I said aloud, “This can’t end well.” Boy, was I wrong, what an ending! Rent it tonight on Amazon for $5.99 and cheer on Carey Mulligan and Director Emerald Fennell tomorrow at the Oscars.       

By Heidi McCrary, author of CHASING NORTH STAR

Letterman and Limbaugh

Why these two are more alike than different

Recent days were marked with a peculiar combination of news stories that brought two mainstays of the entertainment industry back to trending status on social media—David Letterman and Rush Limbaugh. While being two distinctively different stories, there is also a curious similarity between the two…

February 17 saw the passing of Rush Limbaugh, a conservative radio personality. Love him or hate him, Limbaugh knew how to work a room and instinctively knew how to rile up his frenzy of listeners known as Dittoheads. Radio Personality is an appropriate moniker for Limbaugh because he most definitely was playing a character when sitting at the microphone. It is doubtful that he walked down his street calling his neighbors Femi-Nazis, and was, in all likelihood, a likable man. And a smart man who understood the pipeline he had tapped into, growing his base and popularity by appealing to right-wing listeners who appreciated his humor and insight while he unabashedly made fun of liberals and any caller daring to lean left.

It was a curiosity as to why left-leaning people called into his show to argue his politics and rhetoric. Surely, they understood that they would become his radio-wave punching bag. He never let up and never uttered the words, “Maybe you have a point,” to anyone daring enough to question his beliefs and insight. He didn’t have to, for his dittoheads weren’t tuning in for thoughtful discussions. They were there to cheer him on while he steamrolled differing opinions. Limbaugh knew this and never disappointed his listeners.

Which brings us to David Letterman, host for many years of The Late Show on network TV, and now on Netflix with My Next Guest Needs No Introduction with David Letterman. He is an entertainer who understands that his success is tied to being a smart interviewer who doesn’t shy away from asking the uncomfortable questions. He doesn’t pretend to be a nice guy. Instead, Letterman takes delight in making his guests squirm in the hotseat. So it should come as no surprise that there are numerous instances of him belittling guests—ranging from Lohan, Cher and Winfrey to Justin Bieber, back when he was just a kid invited to appear on the Late Show with David Letterman.

While there is probably extraordinarily little crossover in the target audience for these two entertainers, one thing makes them remarkably the same. Simply put, David Letterman is, and Rush Limbaugh was, a bully.

As the popularity of these two bullies grew, so did their actions, as they took delight in strangling and cutting off the voices of select guests who made the unfortunate decision to appear on their shows. While most of us mature as we grow older, so should our penchant for belittling those around us. And as we condemn or applaud the action of these two men, perhaps we should understand that they grew in power because we were clapping and cheering on the sidelines. They are a mirror of us.

Heidi McCrary is a writer and author of Chasing North Star. Keep up with her at https://heidimccrary.net/ and on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/HeidiMcCraryAuthor

MOM… Because FRIENDS was already taken

After eight years, the CBS sitcom, MOM, is ending it’s run this May. I know 2021 is supposed to be about new beginnings, but I’m not ready to let go of these women I have grown to love. The premise of MOM was originally about a daughter and her mother, who were both recovering alcoholics, and the daughter’s trials raising her own children. Starring Anna Faris and Allison Janney, this comedy’s first episode included a drug joke told by Janney in front of her grandchildren. How funny, I thought. Nothing says “family fun” like grandma telling drug jokes. Apparently, the people behind the scenes agreed with me, and it didn’t take long before the children took a back seat, and in TV magic, simply disappeared, leaving mom and daughter, and their friends at the AA meetings where they regularly went to maintain their sobriety.

And that’s when we all got to know and learned to love that ragtag team of women, who, flaws and all, are always there for one another. The writing for this show is sharp, the humor has bite, and most important, it continues to be heartwarming without being overly sappy. These are the type of women I would like to have a drink with, and by drink, I mean a cup of coffee. Strong coffee.

Bonnie, Christy, Jill, Marjorie, Beth, Tammy … I’m going to miss you gals. Hopefully, we can catch up again someday on Netflix.